satan: knock knock
me: who's there
satan: i saw your blog
satan: we have wifi in hell
Merlin needs to just come out already.
rachlovesmoony: about his magic I meant his magic
Mom: Why is there a piece of chocolate cake in the shopping cart?
Me: Let me tell you. I went to get garlic bread and I heard "I'm gonna jump." And I said "But why?" The cake said, "I'm gonna jump if no one buys me. I cannot bear to be thrown away, uneaten, unloved." I said, "No, don't jump! It's not worth it. I shall buy you. Come, cake, and I shall eat you." So I did.
Mom: So you're the cupcake whisperer.
Mom: Do you really think I'm going to buy this?
Me: Yes, because you CARE.
Mom: *sighs* Fine.