Mom:Why is there a piece of chocolate cake in the shopping cart?
Me:Let me tell you. I went to get garlic bread and I heard "I'm gonna jump." And I said "But why?" The cake said, "I'm gonna jump if no one buys me. I cannot bear to be thrown away, uneaten, unloved." I said, "No, don't jump! It's not worth it. I shall buy you. Come, cake, and I shall eat you." So I did.